Why Being Bribed Doesn't Suck
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 9:30AM | 5 Comments When I returned back to Tulsa from Fredericksburg Monday late afternoon, I pulled into a snow covered driveway only to get a gigantic blast from my past. For sitting in the garage inside my parent's house was a damn near exact replica of the car I had driven from the day I turned 16 up until my early 20's. It is the car I love, dream about and wish I had never sold. It's my baby. And sitting there in the garage sits, what appears to be a brand new version of the exact Jeep I parted with several years ago. So WTF is it doing there.
Well that's the exact question I asked my father upon entering his home (including the expletive, which I'm not sure he enjoyed). After a long story about snow, being stranded, a guy named Jim and a conversation we had a couple weeks ago, I started to glaze over and realize what this felt like for me.
A bribe.
A bribe to stay in the US. Well, not stay, per say, but to come back soon. A piece of motivation to come back and spend some time with the family, start thinking seriously about life and get back to the work and progress I was making here. Dad wants to make sure that when I come back from my quarter-life crisis, I'll need a car to get me around, which I appreciate. I could think of a lot more glamorous things my dad could have bought to try and get me thinking about moving back here. At one point, my sister reminded me that my dad had actually offered to buy me a ranch with 20 horses on it in Kentucky as a bribe to move back from Spain last summer. But there's not a lot that could actually get me thinking about coming back.
However. This car. Is one of those things.
I love this car.
And the thinking started. The stipulation of the car belonging to me is that I move back to claim it within 2 years (roundabout). So, two years. That sounds like a long time, right? Wrong. I immediately started panicking. How am I going to see the whole world in 2 years? How am I going to live in Spain for 5 years and THEN see the whole world? My plans for life are falling apart before my eyes and I don't really know what to do. Maybe I'll be home in two years. Maybe that's not unrealistic. But the thought of it sort of spun me in a spiral.
I started thinking about all of those travel bloggers who blog about travel and dreaming of travel from the confines of a cubical. Am I destined to become one of them? Can I do anything to stop it?
It's just a car.
But it's not. In two years, I'll be 27. I know that's not old, but as I creep closer to the 30 mark still single and with no real plans for life, I wonder if I'm making a mistake? There are plenty who have gone before me. Veterans, if you will in the traveling, living, line of work. Old balls like Joel, Dave and Christine keep me going on a regular basis. But as Dave has recently taken a REAL LIVE desk job, I feel my invincibility starting to wear off.
For now, all I know is that I wish I could cram all of my lives together. I know that for me, right now, this would be my perfect life. If the entire state of Andalucia was appended to the side of Texas but a part of the US so everyone there still speaks Spanish and still retains their culture, but I get American grocery stores, Dr. Pepper and maybe even Taco Bueno. In addition, my horse would come over (along with all of my friends and family in Spain) and live with me. My jeep would come down from Tulsa and all of my friends and family from the US would be within driving distance. I would also like for it to only rain once a week, on Thursdays and preferably thunderstorm. I would like the temperature to remain a constant 80/60 for the whole year.
So… let's make it happen.
Jeep, Oklahoma, Reasons Traveling Sucks, Tulsa, USA in My Trips, Useless Mutterings
Reader Comments (5)
Don't think so much. Just do what feels right. I can look back and say I wish I would have traveled at an earlier age, but that's a BS game. There's no right direction in life, there are only choices and progress that keep you moving forward. When things feel wrong, you'll make adjustments over time. Just take care not to convince yourself that you're permanently tied to any one choice.
That said, I've read your blog over many months and you've never been as alive as when you were in Spain. Don't lose perspective when obstacles get thrown into your line of sight.
(look at me being all encouraging and stuff instead of just snarky)
And following on from peppy Joel, it's time for peppy Dave.
Babe, don't get all up inside your own head about this. Just go with the flow and do whatever the hell feels right at the time. It's honestly the best advice I can give to anyone. Don't worry about it, don't stress about it, breathe deep and just keep doing your thing. Live in the US, live in Spain, do both, do neither, screw it. You're young, smart and have the world at your feet. Don't let societal (or family) pressure crush you into submission and make you forget that...
I agree with Joel that you were even more awesome than usual when you were living in Spain - that country just farking rocks and it rubs off on anyone who spends any time there. And this is coming from someone who doesn't hablo the espanol. That doesn't mean that you have to live there right now, or forever, or both, but it's obvious that travel and living the life of an expat agrees with you. Duh, that's hardly a surprise, but it's worth remembering when looking at your options I reckon.
*long distance hug*
Oh, and about the whole desk job thing - yeah I've done it, I'm not loving it, but I can accept it for the 9 months that the contract lasts. I'd love to not have to, of course, but until page views = dollars in a slightly less theoretical sense, it's gonna be the status quo. Work a while, travel a while, rinse and repeat.
It's the way I've always done it, so don't view it as any sort of change for me. It's worked bloody well as a lifestyle choice for the last dozen years...
@Dave and Joel, AKA my favorite people in the world for at least the next 5 minutes - Y'all. Seriously. I can't imagine having met more amazing and supportive (not to mention hunky) men in my travels. You two have always been such amazing supporters and I am eternally grateful. I literally could not do this without you. I could not face the pressure. I could not face the disappointment. I could not face the uncertainty without knowing that there are friends like y'all who will always have my back. It's so easy for me to sit here, be with my friends from high school and college and my family and think that this is the easy life to live. But I would always wonder, and I would always question my motives. Thank you guys again for the motivation and support. Love you guys :)
Awww so sweet ... you're awesome. :)
You're probably right you know, it is the easy option to kick back and go with the flow, doing what everyone else does and what they expect you to do too.
Easy, but not right. At least not for you. And when it comes down to it, it's you that matters.
Love ya.